Focused

I look through the lens
I see your beautiful face
You look back at me
But only at the object in my hand

You look for someone to care
Someone to look at you
Someone to want you
Someone to look out for you

Why do you keep looking?
What am I not doing right?
How can I make myself that person?
Who do you want me to become?

You say that it just wouldn't work
That something would happen.
What can I do to prove to you
It can work?

I know that we are not the same
You deserve so much more
More than I can ever give
You deserve the world

I try to find a new focal point
To find something to want
More than to be with you.
There is nothing better.

I try to find something better
Every time I spend time with you
I just get re focused on you
I lie awake thinking of you

All I want is a chance
Chance to see if it can work
A chance to prove to you
I am on my knees asking for a chance

The Perfect Girlfriend

So there is plenty of material out there telling guys how to treat women. However, do you girls really expect to get away with telling us guys how to treat you while we sit by quietly, doting on your every whim while our own desires go unnoticed? Well, this note is a retaliation, showing what a guy expects of his girl. in other words, if a girl ever managed to fulfill this entire list all the time, she would be the perfect girlfriend, without a doubt. not only that title would she easily fill, but perfect human being as well. So, in knowing that there is no perfect human being outside of Him known as Jesus Christ the Son of God, we don't actually expect you to be this person because that is quite impossible. This list was created to show that you can't be perfect, so don't expect us to!

when he says he's not good enough for you,
tell him he's the only one for you

When he is insecure about how he looks,
tell him he looks awesome

When he's with his friends,
don't embarrass him

when he is confused and frustrated by the mystery of girls,
take the time to explain how they (you) work

when he is stressed,
be understanding and caring

when he reaches for the stars,
don't underestimate him and cut him down with your lack of faith

when you find out his surprise for you
don't tell him

when he is ill,
take care of him like a mother would

when he makes a trivial accident,
don't hold it against him

when he's upset,
hug him close

when he's nervous,
hold his hand and look at him reassuringly

when his friends are jerks,
be nice to them

when he achieves something,
take pride in him

when he needs his space
give it to him

don't get mad if he gets a little jealous of other guys
he just knows how amazing you are

don't assume he's cheating on you,
he should hold your constant and unfailing trust

don't try to impress him all the time,
he loves you for who you are, looks just make that love easier to maintain

don't talk about how hot other guys are,
he's not THAT secure

don't cheat on him,
especially in your heart

don't be a hippocrite,
he'll remember more than what you think

don't be mad if he can't pick up on your "clues"
girls don't come with instruction manuals

don't call him stupid,
he's been told that too many times already

don't nag him,
it's annoying and a big turn off

don't be envious of his other female friends (let him spend time with them),
you are the only one for him, but he needs friends just as much as you do

don't manipulate him to get what you want,
you will lose his trust and love

don't flirt with other guys,
he'll think he's not enough for you,
and he'll be right

don't try to change him,
you may not like who he becomes
you should love him for who he is now
and love him as he changes into a better person

don't be so disillusion as to think that he can devote all of his time to you,
that doesn't even happen in marriage!
when he can't see you, he can't see you and he suffers too

wait for his call every night
wait for his text
wait for him to come home

cuddle with him every night

limit your shopping expenses (especially if it's his hard earned money you are using)

motivate him to become a better person,
so he can better love you

take part in his interests
even if they are not your interests

let him into your life by introducing him to your friends and family
(with confidence that he won't do anything stupid, if you lack faith in him, he will fail)

make sure he knows how much you love him,
and if you think he does, tell him anyway

Never put yourself down
because he believes in you

cry in front of him,
he wants to comfort you

go to sleep on him,
he wants to keep you secure and comfortable

tell him everything about you,
just not all at once

take care of yourself,
he wants to grow old with you

respect his beliefs and morals,
even if they aren't yours

let him take care for you
when you don't feel well

even when he calls late,
talk to him

you will be treated how you dress

remember that he needs as much attention as you do

listen to what he has to say, no matter how long he talks

talk things over, just to make sure it's ok

be completely open with him and hold nothing back, not even your secrets

defend him in front of your family and friends

surprise him with food every now and then :)

treat him like a person (he has feelings too), not a hot rod

be sensitive to his heart,
it breaks just as easily as yours does
and often takes longer to rebuild

be honest

be yourself around his friends and family

be your own person,
don't derive who you are from your friends, family, or boyfriend
he loves you for who you are

if he forgets something,
don't hold it against him

if you ask a question that you don't want an answer to,
expect an answer you don't want to hear

if he tells you that you are beautiful,
and you say you aren't,
he'll stop telling you

remember, he's not a vampire named Edward,
he's not the lead guy in a steamy romance novel,
he's not a mind reader,
he's not perfect,
don't expect him to be!

coauthored by and Drake

Dear God

Dear God,

I would like to say that keeping this show up for 4 years has been quite difficult but somehow I seem to pull it off. Everyday there is a new obstacle in my path but I seem to find a creative way around that. If you said "What's Wrong?" there would be way to many things to narrow it down to say. I have tried repeatedly to dig myself out of this hole because I don't really know another way out. I seem to have keep digging myself farther and farther in and now I have gotten to the point where I have realized that I am beyond the point where one man without a shovel can get out. There is this tool that I have seem to have left out of the hole that on a daily basis I dig. There was a point where I thought I saw the way out but it only turned into tunnel farther down. I have lost sense of direction in my effort to continue on my own. I would love to have the chance to just ask for help and actually get some other than more than just some other illusion that has seem to have been mistaken for help.

What would happen if I said that I had absolutely no clue as to what is right, what is Your path, or what You were even saying to me? This would come to no surprise to You of course because You know that I took that path long before I realized there was a path change and no idea as to what was going on. Where were the warning signs? I am sure there were some along the way that I just didn't seem to acknowledge or just underestimate their importance to me. I thought that they were for someone else, some other problem, not mine because there was nothing that was wrong. Little to my knowledge I have had these blinders on for way too long. I need Your help in taking these off what to do now? Where do I start? There really isn't a point that I can say with 100% confidence I was even pointing in the right direction. There have been some guide rails that were in my way that helped me from falling off the cliff. Some stop signs that help evaluate the situation but after that red turned into the emerald green I kept going and forgot about the past or what was in my way. What voice are these people talking about? They say that they know what's going and everything but I got no idea as to what is even going on. How can I get back on track better yet how do I get on the track? There have been so many voices that keep talking I have forgotten which one is Yours. Which Shepard do I follow? They all look the same all with the same voice and clothes. Which one is Yours?

There seems to have been a failure on my part on the whole communication part for awhile. Well I had all these things going on where I just didn't have time for You I had these other things that were more important.

So my final question, When You call how will I know? I seem to have been hitting ignore on the phone call for quite sometime now. Will I recognize the number or even the voice on the line?

Your Son,

Drake

P.S. Quick response preferred if possible.

A Question of Conduct

I behold constantly an injustice
Jerks with worthy women
Why is this so?
Why do the wicked prosper
Whilst I am ever alone?

Maybe if I was a jerk
Some girl would finally want to be with me
But as I now am,
I’m only a nice guy who finishes last

I can be strong and vigilant
But a girl wants
A dangerous man,
Who treats her like excrement
Why can’t I be that guy?!

All he wants her for is her body
Yet she care’s not
She deserves so much more than him!
She says she wants attention
But I give her that
To no avail, cause I do not matter
Cause she only wants acceptance of the jerk-off
Some dick who watches pornography every night of his life
Who jacks off to other women
Who flirts with any skirt that crosses his path
Who gets drunk every night
Yet he still manages to end up with the girl

While I who stay in righteousness
Can make no such claim
I have no girl in my life
Who would love me
Not anyone I know

Who am i?
Who do I want to be?
A lonely righteous man
Or an accompanied jerk-off
If the measure of the amount of love in one’s life
Is the determination of his worth,
Well I am still in a dilemma,
While I can love far deeper as I am,
As I am, no girl will accept my love
If I become a jerk though, a girl will love me for certain
She will give herself to me,
No strings attached
But how shallow and superficial will that “love” be!

So I end this
With that question hanging
Whom to become
If I have the faith,
I would stay as I am, trusting in God to reward me with someone to love
But if my faith fails me
I shall give into the darkness, which I already experience in this isolation
And become the guy they all can’t wait to touch
And never again glimpse what is sublime
The flesh will be my lot
An evil to be sure
But is it worse than this isolation?
To know you can offer more love than any other jerk,
But never accepted, only rejected.
Is a heavy burden to bear
And my despair begins.