A Question of Conduct

I behold constantly an injustice
Jerks with worthy women
Why is this so?
Why do the wicked prosper
Whilst I am ever alone?

Maybe if I was a jerk
Some girl would finally want to be with me
But as I now am,
I’m only a nice guy who finishes last

I can be strong and vigilant
But a girl wants
A dangerous man,
Who treats her like excrement
Why can’t I be that guy?!

All he wants her for is her body
Yet she care’s not
She deserves so much more than him!
She says she wants attention
But I give her that
To no avail, cause I do not matter
Cause she only wants acceptance of the jerk-off
Some dick who watches pornography every night of his life
Who jacks off to other women
Who flirts with any skirt that crosses his path
Who gets drunk every night
Yet he still manages to end up with the girl

While I who stay in righteousness
Can make no such claim
I have no girl in my life
Who would love me
Not anyone I know

Who am i?
Who do I want to be?
A lonely righteous man
Or an accompanied jerk-off
If the measure of the amount of love in one’s life
Is the determination of his worth,
Well I am still in a dilemma,
While I can love far deeper as I am,
As I am, no girl will accept my love
If I become a jerk though, a girl will love me for certain
She will give herself to me,
No strings attached
But how shallow and superficial will that “love” be!

So I end this
With that question hanging
Whom to become
If I have the faith,
I would stay as I am, trusting in God to reward me with someone to love
But if my faith fails me
I shall give into the darkness, which I already experience in this isolation
And become the guy they all can’t wait to touch
And never again glimpse what is sublime
The flesh will be my lot
An evil to be sure
But is it worse than this isolation?
To know you can offer more love than any other jerk,
But never accepted, only rejected.
Is a heavy burden to bear
And my despair begins.